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Week Under Review: Comparing the NFL to the cast of Hamilton

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Once you shuffle past criminals, social media trolls, helicopter parents and people who only talk about themselves during social situations, in comes the next tier of annoying humans: those lucky enough to have seen Hamilton with the original cast who won’t shut up about it. That’s where I enter the picture wholesale jerseys.

I saw Hamilton exactly 22 days ago. Since then, I have spent the last 21 days obsessively checking resale ticket prices simply out of curiosity, watching old clips of the cast performing at the White House, the Grammys and on the street, while simultaneously listening to the soundtrack nonstop as if I’m “running out of time.”

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My Hamilton infatuation has become so pronounced that I have been poring over interviews with the cast just to see if any of them happen to be particularly ardent NFL fans, a foray to being featured in this column. Turns out my dream of the show’s genius creator, lyricist and Alexander Hamilton portrayer Lin-Manuel Miranda freestyling about the Jets quarterback situation is likely just that (though he does seem to love tennis). Or that proud Oakland native Daveed Diggs, who brilliantly plays Marquis de Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson, going deep on the Raiders is unlikely to happen given that Diggs calls himself a fan of the Raiders and 49ers. (Gotta pick one , Prez.)

So instead of trying to bring Hamilton to the NFL, how about bringing the NFL to Hamilton? Several original cast members are leaving next week, and while most replacements are lined up (though curiously not Tony award winner Leslie Odom Jr.’s) things may become unwieldy at the Richard Rodgers Theatre in the post-Miranda era. Have no fear because here’s a replacement cast of NFL figures perfectly suited to play each of Hamilton’s key characters because they share strikingly attributes to that cast in playing to their own house.

Note: These castings are based off Miranda’s adaptation of Ron Chernow’s biography, Alexander Hamilton, not the book itself, which at 832 pages is inherently richer in detail and character development.

Roger Goodell as King George III

And no don’t change the subject. Cuz you’re my favorite subject. My sweet, submissive subject. My loyal, royal subject. Forever and ever and ever and ever.  – King George III (You’ll Be Back)

Too easy. Goodell is already a monarch and brutalized NFL players with little financial guarantee or concerns for their health. His disciplinary system is the epitome of “taxation without representation.” The only question is whether the players will stand up from their freedom when the CBA is up for renewal in 2021. It might behoove them to see Hamilton before then.

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Tom Brady as Alexander Hamilton

I’m young, scrappy and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot! – Hamilton (My Shot )

There was a well-documented time in Brady’s career when he could stand in a room of other quarterbacks like storied Drew Henson or Drew Bledsoe and be asked,  “Who are you?” But like Hamilton, who came to the United States with plenty of reasons not to morph into a legend, Tommy Brady, disregarded at the combine and not drafted until the sixth round by the New England Patriots, would create his own destiny through an intense work ethic and sheer force of will.

Brady has spearheaded the Patriots 15-year dynasty with his “practical, tactical brilliance” but like Hamilton, it has been the extra credit that has catapulted him to legendary status. Hamilton read and wrote like he was “running out of time.” Brady studies film and eats prunes like he’s running out of time. Just like Hamilton, one can argue Brady “changed the game” by perfecting the inside passing attack with a precision that no other quarterback can match.

In an interesting twist, Hamilton spurned his pregnant wife Eliza for Eliza’s sister, who was much more his intellectual equal. Not that Brady can relate. Hamilton also tarnished his otherwise stellar legacy by being caught “cheating” (more on this below).

Bill Belichick as George Washington

Just like Washington’s Continental army lost the New York campaign before it ultimately won the Revolutionary War, Belichick took a character-building career tumble that could have forever derailed his destiny. Fired by then-owner Art Modell of the Cleveland Browns in 1996,  reviews Belichick was given a second chance in New England. While he possessed the shrewd, astute and affectingly cold leadership traits of Washington, it wasn’t until he found his “right-hand man” in Brady that he became the greatest head coach in NFL history­—the same effect Hamilton had on Washington.

As it stands, given the option, you’re starting any new franchise with Belichick as the leader. Of course, Belichick’s ingenuity as a football general is also colored by his penchant for toeing the line on rules of engagement ever so closely, and perhaps closing them on occasion. How does that compare with America’s most beloved founding father? Turns out, quite well.  According to the official Washington historical website, “George Washington quickly recognized the need for effective intelligence gathering efforts and developed a number of spy rings and secret agents to gather information behind enemy lines.” Sound familiar?

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